Pastiche Mentality

"Yes I can give myself advices and anwers that are pretty good. But I found it's far more hard to give yourself good advice, than give someone other good advice." - Name Withheld

Careful. I like you, but I'm gonna have to be brutally honest with you. This is something that clashes with my beliefs. We're surrounded by all this talk about leading, spreading good energy, etc. But in order to do that, you must be able to do the same for yourself first.

A business leader taught me years ago: "'Leader of one. Leader of many. If I can't lead one, I can't lead any.' Usually, that one is you." What he means is, you can't just go off and lead others if you can't even lead yourself. Likewise, how could you truly love another if you don't even love yourself? The common theme is: you can't give what you don't have.

And now here, we're learning to love ourselves. Learn exactly who we are and what we stand for. Figure out our standards (esp. in women). Stop being a zombie. Don't apologize for being yourself. By freeing yourself, you also allow the woman of your dreams to free herself, and her experience with you will be amazing. Theoretically. In simpler terms, you don't allow her to bullshit with you, which exposes her true self. You let her know it's alright to be that way with you. In her presence, she makes you feel happy. In your presence, she feels no fear.

Back on topic, of course it's harder to give yourself good advice. We are our own worst critics. But when you get good at steering yourself in the right direction (like designing a lifestyle that suits your core values), then giving others advice will come from the right frame. You're giving them credible words that aren't just passed down from others. You're giving them words that you believe in 100%.

From posts I've discussed with you before, it seems to be that belief you're struggling with. Going 100%. You know the right things to believe, but you're still trying to convince yourself of them. You're headed in the right direction. :) It's just a matter of making them concrete and setting them in stone. The only way to find out is to GO until you can confirm those beliefs as true for yourself.

Pastiche

While in line (there was no line) at the book store, I noticed this one guy flirting with the cashier, asking her questions about herself. I watched his body language and smile, and I watched hers. Next thing you know she says to me, far from her, "CASH, CHECK, OR CREDIT? (Me: credit!) I can take you over here!" Soon he leaves.

Her: Ewww... gross!
Me: Hahaha... I had a feeling I knew what was going on. That was funny.
Her: Blah blah thank you. You're my life-saver! :D
Me: Blah blah
Her: I DO like your hair though. :)
Me: Wait... now are YOU hitting on me?
Her: NO nooo... blah blah. :D
Me: I'm just kidding. :) But it DOES start up some cool conversations. blah

She was pretty.

Pretty fat. O_o

Ughhh... FUCK! I'm sick, and I have a fucking headache. :( :( :angry: :angry:

So what did I go off and do? I went to find out the Who's Who of journal posters. The hottest posters with the journals and success that I'd like to model mine after. I know who's doing the missions. I know who's got the right mindset. I know who to keep an eye on and listen to.

And I ALSO posted like... what? 21 TIMES!? DAYAMN!!! :shock:
I'm in the A&D Top 10 now, which means to me that I've acquired SOME deeper level of understanding.
It also means that I've been on my ass too much. :rolleyes:

The biggest thing I've learned today is that I need to be more aggressive. Even when Andres started to get on a roll, Ranko told him he was going too slow! Ranko told me I'm doing too less. He's right. I need to be more aggressive with this and a lot of other things.

I feel that I've done well to get my head straight about what it means to be direct. I've gotten my thoughts in order. Now I just want to do the missions. ILY Game is one of them. My goal for the month.

Summer
June (night): Indirect Approach and Attract Game. Ridding Approach Anxiety. 10 real numbers.
July (mostly night): The Cube, Connect/ Rapport Game. 1 stop. 9 real, more substantial numbers. Houston Lair Top 4 (129).
August (day): Thoroughly review CDs 1-4, Missions 1-8. Direct approaching and stopping. A few AWESOME numbers.

Fall
September: ILY Game. If I get that far, these ought to be the best numbers w/ REAL dates.

I always got numbers, emails, and MySpace addresses. Then I didn't care for them unless I'd setup a date. Now I don't care about setting up dates unless they know for a FACT what my intentions are. It goes all the way back to the missions.

Steady progress...

New Sensation
I get the thumping heartbeat now simply by seeing what I like (a tight, hot body, pretty face) from 100s of feet away. I was driving in my car, and I noticed a girl walking into a store. I found myself diligently checking her out, and my heart started to race a little. My "hottie radar" has improved a LOT!

New Rating Scale
To eliminate wondering of a girl is hot enough or not, I've simplified the process by asking myself: "Is she prettier than me?" :lol: If she is, go. If she's not, why bother? Simple. :D

New Habit
I work close to my local mall (and I go to school near another one). I've made it a habit to go there whenever I'm on break. If a student or more is absent, and I just want to read, I'll go to the mall and sit on a bench to do it. Funny thing is, when I get there, I'd rather walk around and check girls out. Better than reading. ;)

I need to just go for the FIRST girl I see that sparks a curiosity in me. I walked around yesterday, and the only hot girl I came across was the one leaving the mall towards the parking lot as I was going in. I saw her walking towards me from a distance and checked her out of course. GREAT legs. Pretty face (yeah, she was prettier than me :D, but I didn't apply my principle). We had to stop from both sides of the street to let a car by. Then I noticed she was checking me out, and we had locked eye contact. Did I do anything? NO.

New Excuse: "There will be other girls in there to approach."
While that may be true, I'm using this positive outlook more as an excuse to let me pass up on a girl. And then whether or not there happens to be more hotties in there, I'll continue to think for the next girl, and keep passing girls up. Not just malls, but clubs, and other places. This is the same for everywhere I go. Now that I recognize the excuse, I know what I have to do to overcome it.

I don't want to approach with Traveler or Horoscope anymore. I wanna do ILY Game! It amazes me how hard it is for me right now. I know that when I get into it, it will get easier and easier. Eventually, I will get so pissed off for letting all these opportunities go by that I will force myself to man up and do it. I have no reason to put it off.

I pitched a pact with rarebreed Sunday to tell just ONE girl that she's beautiful this week. I wasn't sure how easy or hard it would be. I knew I did it over a week ago just for shits and giggles after a Traveler Mission, but I'm making a big deal out of it now since it is the focus. It's ridiculous, really.

New Breakthrough
I managed to get it out last night when a cute girl offered to help me move my gear from my car to the stage. This was soon after she laughed at something I said to someone else earlier. I said it in a more Juggler-oriented (SOI) format: "So you're beautiful, AND you're helpful." But even with that, it was hard to get out! :angry: :rolleyes:

Funny though, it automatically sparked some wide rapport! While I was setting up, we were getting to know each other. Soon I excused myself telling her that I'd talk to her later, but I have to finish setting up. I told her I would get her info later, and she was cool with that. Unfortunately, she and her friends had to leave soon, and even tho she said they'd come back, they didn't. Had I just went for the info exchange right away, it would have worked out. Coulda been a real, rapport-based number in about 5 minutes. Live and learn.

I found out today that she's a model! AHHH!!! I had no idea. I saw her in plain clothes as a normal person, and I STILL thought she was beautiful. That's good stuff. :)

I DID end up getting a hot girl's number tho. All these other guys hit on her, but she was cool with me. So far, every time I've gone to that venue to play (even back in October before I joined the community), I've picked up a girl. Something I'd like to keep up. :)

New Bond
I've also recognized my keyboardist to be the most direct and alpha person I personally know. In fact, he's a very difficult person for most people to "deal with" because not only is he direct, he's also very aggressive in body language, tone, and action. That's something he knows he needs to work on. The mere fact that I can hang with him tells me a lot about myself. But I let him know that beyond the aggressiveness, I see that he's a very passionate person, and he really cares for the people in his life. Everything about him is very obvious and clear. No one can bullshit around him.

Going home after the gig, we talked on the phone, and I told him something like: "There was always something I learned from you... moreso than anything you've tried to verbally teach us about music. And it isn't about music. Do you know what that is? I learned more from you by observing your behavior, and the way you view the world. You're the most direct person in my life, and that makes me want to keep you in my life."

We had a great conversation that built up our brotherly bond even more. He teaches me things about being direct that are genuine without him even being aware of it. He's not from the pickup scene. He's a natural alpha. And if I'm to be naturally direct, it's good to have people like him around that aren't biased with pickup theory.

The more direct people I surround myself with, the more direct I will become.