Excerpts: Stephen Nash (CEIC) - Going Solo
Going out solo forces you to interact with new people. I have always had positive results from doing things alone. The key is to make friends when you arrive.
Your goal is to meet new people, right? Why not apply a little social pressure to yourself and go alone, so you cannot hide behind the familiarity of your friends?
The worst thing that happens is that you attend an event, you extend your hand in introduction to people, and they completely reject you (never happens by the way, but this is the worst case scenario). All this does is prove that they are snobs and not worth your time.
You leave knowing you tried to meet new people and they were just too close-minded to make space for a new, cool person in their little world.
With the right attitude, going to things alone is a great way to expand your social circle. If you decide to do this, here is a strategy for increasing your effectiveness:
1) Arrive, and introduce yourself to the host of the party (or event organizer)
2) Mingle with some of the guys there (way easier for most guys to chat with guys…right?)
3) Now that you have some male friends as a base, mingle within their social circle – who knows, they may have single, available female friends with them.
4) Then, begin to mingle off of their social circle. As you converse and discuss things, bring other people into it – “hey, we are discussing ___, what do you think about ____?” Presto, you have just expanded the social circle.
Now, we can take this further if there is a woman there that has caught your eye, and you want to meet her.
5) Take the lead, and move the group you are in to “her” area of the room.
6) When you are in her vicinity, bring into your circle the closest person to you that is in “her” circle.
7) Again, take the lead, and present the topic to her circle, connecting the two social circles.
Presto, you are involved in her circle. Although there are seven steps to this little process – it is easy, and can be repeated anytime, and in any social setting.
When she says something, take the lead and respond. This begins a conversation with you and her.
One word of advice, if you really want to begin a good conversation with her, and make it look smooth in the process – disagree with whatever she says.
That's right, find a way to disagree with her. Then, it makes perfect sense that the two of you talk – as you now have to work out your disagreement!
The above structure is a classic way of socializing that has worked for me countless times. If your goal is merely to expand your social circle, follow this and find yourself meeting new people constantly.
This is also a great way to smoothly meet the “her” in the room.
Of course, you can also just walk up to her and introduce yourself…that might be simpler, and more impressive too. Doing that is a lot easier if you have made some friends first, and established a home base somewhere in the sea of strangers.
Your goal is to meet new people, right? Why not apply a little social pressure to yourself and go alone, so you cannot hide behind the familiarity of your friends?
The worst thing that happens is that you attend an event, you extend your hand in introduction to people, and they completely reject you (never happens by the way, but this is the worst case scenario). All this does is prove that they are snobs and not worth your time.
You leave knowing you tried to meet new people and they were just too close-minded to make space for a new, cool person in their little world.
With the right attitude, going to things alone is a great way to expand your social circle. If you decide to do this, here is a strategy for increasing your effectiveness:
1) Arrive, and introduce yourself to the host of the party (or event organizer)
2) Mingle with some of the guys there (way easier for most guys to chat with guys…right?)
3) Now that you have some male friends as a base, mingle within their social circle – who knows, they may have single, available female friends with them.
4) Then, begin to mingle off of their social circle. As you converse and discuss things, bring other people into it – “hey, we are discussing ___, what do you think about ____?” Presto, you have just expanded the social circle.
Now, we can take this further if there is a woman there that has caught your eye, and you want to meet her.
5) Take the lead, and move the group you are in to “her” area of the room.
6) When you are in her vicinity, bring into your circle the closest person to you that is in “her” circle.
7) Again, take the lead, and present the topic to her circle, connecting the two social circles.
Presto, you are involved in her circle. Although there are seven steps to this little process – it is easy, and can be repeated anytime, and in any social setting.
When she says something, take the lead and respond. This begins a conversation with you and her.
One word of advice, if you really want to begin a good conversation with her, and make it look smooth in the process – disagree with whatever she says.
That's right, find a way to disagree with her. Then, it makes perfect sense that the two of you talk – as you now have to work out your disagreement!
The above structure is a classic way of socializing that has worked for me countless times. If your goal is merely to expand your social circle, follow this and find yourself meeting new people constantly.
This is also a great way to smoothly meet the “her” in the room.
Of course, you can also just walk up to her and introduce yourself…that might be simpler, and more impressive too. Doing that is a lot easier if you have made some friends first, and established a home base somewhere in the sea of strangers.
