Retrospect on Rapport
First post. Awesome. So yeah, moreso than for anyone out there reading this, but I'm gonna use this as a medium for me to remind MYSELF of things I should keep in mind, or so I can look back at how I thought about things at a certain point in time, or to just put it out there so I don't think about it anymore. My mind races a lot. This will be good for clearing my head.
No Enemies
I was just thinking tonight about how over the past several years, I've become that guy who has no enemies. Everyone enjoys having me around in one way or another. Simply put, I've always been that "cool guy." Then come the days of doing technology sales for Office Depot and success in the network marketing arena, and I feel that among other things, these two experiences helped me a lot when it comes to field work. I learned to relate with my customers and associates on deeper levels.
If you've ever worked in retail and sales, you may know what I'm talking about when find yourself in a position where the customer starts telling you their life stories, and you just KNOW that if you ask another question, it could add 20 minutes to the interaction, yet you're compelled to ask it anyway. And alas, 20 more minutes wasted on one customer, buying or not. You could've used that time to work on or "game" other customers and either opened or made more sales in less time.
The Tree of Life
Now when it comes to relating and rapport, I'm reminded of the model of a tree's roots (in the future, I will be referencing trees and other spiritual and metaphorical symbols). Notice how a tree has a lot of individual roots, some shallow, some deep, but all those combined, they keep that tree standing solid and strong? Well this should set up the foundation of setting up reliable relations with women (however long or short). Your goal to find those deep roots. Get DEEPLY ROOTED. You only need like maybe 3-5 of these to REALLY form a connection.
Keep It Simple, Stupid
Ask very simple questions like: What kind of music do you like? Are you into jazz? What's your favorite movie? Do you like to travel? What's your favorite band? Ask a lot of these (no more than two in a row, relevant to the topic. No probing. No interview. No "20 questions"), and with each one, make a thread. Exchange stories. TRULY LISTEN to what the other person has to say so that you can find key words that you can use expand the thread in another direction. These are tangents, really. Don't worry about transitions. You can either go, "Anyway, blah blah blah," or just say, "Oh HEY. Have you ever..." like it was off the top of your head. Just let it flow.
So if she's not biting onto this one topic you introduced, try something else until she does (again, no probing). Ask her things that YOU are into. This way, you effectively QUALIFY her to be the kind of girl you're looking for. It's your screening process. Make sure they're questions that you can back up with STORIES, and let her exchange stories with you (you DO have a lifestyle that allows you to ask such questions, don't you? Be congruent.). This is how the interaction will go deep. Going deeper and deeper on at least 3/10 of the topics you cleverly and smoothly introduced (well timed of course), will insure that she remembers you and answers your call the next day, or calls you back.
You already know this!
You can apply these ideas in ANY interaction you have with another person. Looking back, notice that this is how you created lasting friendships and relationships in the past. You guys just kinda "hit it off" and connected on so many levels. Remember, this is just a format for a very NORMAL conversation. In fact, for anyone eavesdropping, it may seem like the same ol' boring stuff that EVERYONE talks about. Well, it may start out that way, but YOU are gonna do it better and steer it in a better direction than anyone else who's tried to run this past her and gotten nowhere. As long as it's in your style, and you're congruent with it, you'll be good. Now that you know the simple mechanics of it, go out and use it! Practice. Calibrate. Have fun!
Eww. This started to sound like some serious, formal newsletter thingie. This part of me is SO 2004! we'll change that in the near future. later peoples.
Pastiche
No Enemies
I was just thinking tonight about how over the past several years, I've become that guy who has no enemies. Everyone enjoys having me around in one way or another. Simply put, I've always been that "cool guy." Then come the days of doing technology sales for Office Depot and success in the network marketing arena, and I feel that among other things, these two experiences helped me a lot when it comes to field work. I learned to relate with my customers and associates on deeper levels.
If you've ever worked in retail and sales, you may know what I'm talking about when find yourself in a position where the customer starts telling you their life stories, and you just KNOW that if you ask another question, it could add 20 minutes to the interaction, yet you're compelled to ask it anyway. And alas, 20 more minutes wasted on one customer, buying or not. You could've used that time to work on or "game" other customers and either opened or made more sales in less time.
The Tree of Life
Now when it comes to relating and rapport, I'm reminded of the model of a tree's roots (in the future, I will be referencing trees and other spiritual and metaphorical symbols). Notice how a tree has a lot of individual roots, some shallow, some deep, but all those combined, they keep that tree standing solid and strong? Well this should set up the foundation of setting up reliable relations with women (however long or short). Your goal to find those deep roots. Get DEEPLY ROOTED. You only need like maybe 3-5 of these to REALLY form a connection.
Keep It Simple, Stupid
Ask very simple questions like: What kind of music do you like? Are you into jazz? What's your favorite movie? Do you like to travel? What's your favorite band? Ask a lot of these (no more than two in a row, relevant to the topic. No probing. No interview. No "20 questions"), and with each one, make a thread. Exchange stories. TRULY LISTEN to what the other person has to say so that you can find key words that you can use expand the thread in another direction. These are tangents, really. Don't worry about transitions. You can either go, "Anyway, blah blah blah," or just say, "Oh HEY. Have you ever..." like it was off the top of your head. Just let it flow.
So if she's not biting onto this one topic you introduced, try something else until she does (again, no probing). Ask her things that YOU are into. This way, you effectively QUALIFY her to be the kind of girl you're looking for. It's your screening process. Make sure they're questions that you can back up with STORIES, and let her exchange stories with you (you DO have a lifestyle that allows you to ask such questions, don't you? Be congruent.). This is how the interaction will go deep. Going deeper and deeper on at least 3/10 of the topics you cleverly and smoothly introduced (well timed of course), will insure that she remembers you and answers your call the next day, or calls you back.
You already know this!
You can apply these ideas in ANY interaction you have with another person. Looking back, notice that this is how you created lasting friendships and relationships in the past. You guys just kinda "hit it off" and connected on so many levels. Remember, this is just a format for a very NORMAL conversation. In fact, for anyone eavesdropping, it may seem like the same ol' boring stuff that EVERYONE talks about. Well, it may start out that way, but YOU are gonna do it better and steer it in a better direction than anyone else who's tried to run this past her and gotten nowhere. As long as it's in your style, and you're congruent with it, you'll be good. Now that you know the simple mechanics of it, go out and use it! Practice. Calibrate. Have fun!
Eww. This started to sound like some serious, formal newsletter thingie. This part of me is SO 2004! we'll change that in the near future. later peoples.
Pastiche
