Pastiche Mentality

I recently had a chat with Ranko Magami of Attract & Date. My mentality has grown so much from his philosophy and the followers he's made an impact on... OBVIOUSLY! Here's what he had to say about forums.

me: now jnz from the old badboy cafe is having me take a break from all t he forums. i'm finding it hard to do his mission of not logging in for 3 weeks and simply admiring women
i've had this stuff too much on the brain
and i wanna stop reading so much
Ranko: forums are CRAP
:)
me: sheesh yeah...
i'm feeling more in tune with reality these days
Ranko: look
forum is against a&d principles
it motivates people to type
me: hmmm...
Ranko: instead of motivating people to DO
me: yeah i can see that
Ranko: forum has a postive part
but negative is bigger

Sure, forums can be nice. Very good for starting a journal, holding yourself accountable, getting advice, and teaching/exercising new beliefs. But the ultimate form of accomplishment is going out there and DOING IT. That's where your true assertiveness and courageousness will come from.

You have no business being on a forum without experiences to share that others can work with and critique. That's the only reason to be on there. If you're not doing shit, don't post! Put in the work first so that others can work with you. They'll do their 50%, but first you needa come up with yours.

From Day 1 of Louis & Copeland's Mastery Program.
http://howtosucceedwithwomen.com/learn/01/index.html

Where do you fall under? BE HONEST with yourself.

The Five Levels of Seducers

Day 1 of the Mastery Program teaches you about the five levels of seducers and about how to use the program most effectively.

Level 1: The "Hoper."

This man does nothing, and lives in hope that someday he'll meet a woman who will want him. He's been so demoralized by his interaction with women that he can do nothing but wait helplessly. Most of the time, this man ends up alone.

Level 2: The "Occasional Tryer."

This man tries something to meet women every few weeks or months, but gets easily demoralized and gives up, only to try again a few weeks or a few months later. Given infinite time, this approach would work. Given one lifetime, it's totally relying on luck, and the odds are against you.

Level 3a: The "Studier."

This man studies seduction, reads all the books, and perhaps argues about it on-line, or with dating coaches, but he never is actually able to get himself to take action. His need to get it right, and to have his interactions with women work perfectly the first time he tries them, leads him to continuously study to perfect his technique while never taking action or risking rejection or failure with a real-world woman. His need to study until he can do it "perfectly" stops this man in his tracks.

Level 3b: The "Quick Fixer."

This man is looking for a quick fix to his dating problems. He's taken in by anything that offers him irresistible attraction to women with no real work involved. He empties his wallet on pheromone-scented cologne, subliminal seduction tapes, or techniques which promise to teach him how to bamboozle women and make them into sex slaves in five minutes or less. He often lives in some past glory of the time his quick-fix approach to seduction actually worked. He keeps on the lookout for the next quick-fix that will at last make him effortlessly irresistible to the women of his dreams.

The Level 3 seducer also sees success and failure in a very black-and-white way: either he got sex, tonight, or he was a total failure. He's unable to celebrate the successes he has which move him on his way to becoming a successful seducer; he's not willing to feel good about moving a seduction forward in small steps. He's not able to feel good about his "failures," or to receive the learning that he could get from seductions that don't end in sex. His need to find a quick fix leaves him unwilling to do the long-term work it takes to become a successful seducer.

Level 4: The Man who Works the Fundamentals.

The Level 4 seducer understands something that levels 1 through 3 don't: He understands that the "war" in dating is not with women, with bad luck, or with the world. He understands that the "war" is in his head, with himself.

This means that the Level 4 Seducer understands that the world doesn't need to change. If he wants his world to be different, he needs to change. He understands that, when it comes to dating, there is no "quick fix," and that studying until you get it "right" before talking to women will always leave him in the cold, alone.

The Level 4 Seducer understands that successfully seducing women is like any other long- term project. He understands that, at first, he will have to put a lot of energy into it, and settle for small results until he gets better at it. He knows that at the beginning of learning any new skill there is a lot of work, and that the returns at first are small. He understands that returns get larger only as his skill level increases, and understands that will only happen with practice.

The Level 4 Seducer understands the Fundamentals of seduction, and practices the fundamentals on a daily basis. He knows that only by mastering the fundamentals can he become a more effortless and effective seducer.

He's willing to do the work to get the results. His motto might be, "I understand that if my world is to change, I must change. Just tell me what the work is to do, and I'll do it." He does the work, takes responsibility for all of it, doesn't expect women to generate anything, and gets the results.

Level 5: The "Man's Man."

The Level 5 Seducer has integrated the fundamentals of seduction into his life so thoroughly that he no longer has to think about them: they are part of who he is as a man, and he has the relationships he wants with women, and the sex life he wants.

The Level 5 Seducer creates the life he wants on every level, either by generalizing the fundamentals of seduction to other areas of his life, or by discovering other fundamentals that he can master to give him the results he's after. The Level 5 makes his life work for him, and lives life on his own terms. The Level 5 Seducer has a life and an affect that makes women want to be around him. His life generates many opportunities to interact with women, and he's so good at seducing that women actually pursue him.

You cannot be a Level 5 Seducer without mastering being a Level 4 Seducer First! If you think you can be a Level 5 without mastering the fundamentals as a Level 4, you are actually a Level 3, looking for a quick fix.

Taken from Louis & Copeland's Mastery Program.

This is by far the most COMPLETE dating system out there that I've come across. Going through the program, I realized how simple and effectively it was delivered. Now, the mere fact that I've read a ton means I didn't really learn much of anything new from it... but it DID help me pinpoint a few things I'd been overlooking that I'd realized I've been a dumbass about.

Great production and presentation. All of Louis & Copeland's products are top-notch. I even got a good kick in the butt by their "Nice Guy Syndrome" program. I realized several months ago that my flakiness and pushing women away coz I didn't wanna hurt them was inadvertently hurting them anyway! So it was just me being stupid. Instead of being a "Hard to Get" guy, I've been "Impossible to Get." Like my good buddy Khiem (ITotem) keeps telling me, "MAKE YOURSELF ATTAINABLE!"

These guys have managed to stay so well out of all the community dogma that people haven't really ever heard of them. Their simplicity and attachment to the fundamental truths is what makes them direct to me.

This is all that any program out there is (or should be) about:

The three prongs to the Mastery Program

1. Learning to get lots of women in front of you, so you have a lot of women to work with.
2. Learning the technology of talking to women, so you know what to say and what to do.
3. Getting past the problems and trouble that will inevitably crop up, both in you and in the world around you.

http://howtosucceedwithwomen.com/learn/01/index.html

VERY similar to what I've learned from comecuca about simply being comfortable approaching and then being comfortable being with women.

And now, the Harsh Realities from Day 2 of The Mastery Program.

Frustration

* Frustration will try to stop you.
* When you deal with women there will be frustration, and you must learn to handle it.
* Learn to handle unfairness and frustration.
* If you are used to figuring it all out and having things instantly work, you have a problem, because that won't work with women, and will drive them away. You must get used to frustration or you'll never get women.
* If you are used to throwing a tantrum when things are frustrating and having people "hop to," you'll have to let that go, because it won't work with women.

Perfectionism

* Along with frustration, perfectionism will get in the way of getting women.
* Perfectionism will stop you from taking action. If everything has to be perfect before you will take action to pursue women, you will never pursue women, or do it so slowly as to be essentially ineffective.
* You must take the approach of "ready, fire, aim." Do the homework, take action, and learn from your mistakes.

The "Problem"

Every guy has a problem, and he thinks his problem is the worst in the world. You'll think your problem is special, and knocks you out of being able to pursue women. Thinking this is normal.

Possible problems:

* You're too old
* You're divorced
* You have kids
* You live in New York City
* You live in a small town
* You want kinky sex

...all these problems are normal. The program will help you deal with them.

The Numbers Game

Dating is frustrating because, statistically, the next thing you do with a woman will probably fail. That's why you have to have a lot of different approaches and try a lot of stuff. You need to be like Han Solo: "Never tell me the odds!" The odds stop mattering when you have enough women in your system. If you keep your numbers high enough, odds don't matter. That's the purpose of prong one of the program, "Learning to get lots of women in front of you, so you have a lot of women to work with."

Phases

Don't be surprised when your dating goes through phases, or waves. For instance you may go through a phase of women never calling back, then a phase of women calling a lot, a phase of being rejected by everyone, a phase of having success with lots of women in a row, every women you meet being blonde, or a teacher, and so on. The good news is, phases can work in your favor; sometimes you'll be on a wave of great successes that you can ride. The point is, you shouldn't be surprised that dating comes in phases, or waves.

http://howtosucceedwithwomen.com/learn/02/index.html

I will be updating my links soon to accommodate for these guys and the reduction of material that I currently stick to. Less reading. More DOING!

FLASHBACK
I never wrote about this before coz I was getting too detailed about it and got sick of it. But I posted it elsewhere as advice and decided it was good enough for an FR. :) This was the day before I took a month's leave from my journal here: http://direct-method.net/invisionboard/index.php?s=&showtopic=1423&view=findpost&p=10522

Jan 18 2007, 10:13 AM
One of my absofuckinglutely favorite, FAVORITE experiences approaching direct was walking down a hallway at school and catching the eye of one of the hottest girls in the school. She was studying and had earphones on. This was in a hallway with some traffic and other excusers studying. (This was exactly one week after the near-death car accident I had in October.)

I kept going on and around the corner... and then I stopped myself. "Whaaat? No waaay. OMG... you're really gonna do it, huh? You're really gonna go over there and approach her. Holy sh*t." I turned around and went back around the corner, went straight up to her, and stood there. THAT'S IT! I just stood there to get her attention. She noticed me, looked up curiously and took off her ear phones.

Her: :huh: Yes?
Me (dead-serious, intently): You... are absolutely... BEAUTIFUL... I had to come MEET you.

She was absolutely SHOCKED. Like she lost her breath and got the wind knocked out of her! She smiled, presented her hand, and introduced herself. I sat with her, and we had a really interesting conversation, which stalled at first. Then she told me she had boyfriend (which at that point, I was getting ready to leave), and then she said, "It's okay. I'll still give you my number."

:blink: :blink: :blink:

Later her body language perked up and she backed away from her laptop. Now her shoulders/body were facing me, and she folded her legs up in her seat. The interaction concluded with difficulty. At this point it was hard to stop talking, but we managed to end it coz I was on a time crunch and had to go pick my mom up from work. Still, that was probably the most incredible reaction and turn around I've ever had with this approach.

Needless to say, we still talk. And every time we interact, we tend to be bubbly and dork around. :D

This is hands down the most extreme case of meeting women out there, and I don't recommend it for everyone. It's not for the faint of heart. Fuck, I'M not this extreme. However, you could try... whatever happens, you'd gain massive amounts of confidence. Props for having brass balls and being courageous. Approaching as direct and honest as possible makes all other approaches seem easy. You can RELAX! It's the fastest learning tool and fear destroyer.

Actually... I DID behave like such with a couple women on the phone. That's probably why I don't have phone anxiety anymore. And I flirt like a mofo. ;D I wonder what would happen should I do this once or twice in my lifetime in person...

Structure
Here's the hidden article from the "Mode One Backstory" I posted earlier.
http://modeone.net/archives/TDTM1_SeductionSceneScript.html

In place of the first scripted bulk of the document, I decided to include part of the scene that was mentioned. It makes much more sense than reading the script.

Scene from Talk Dirty to Me
Now what's funny about this scene is, when I first saw it, I didn't think a guy could pull this off in real-life. Neither did my brother, and many of my close male friends. They were like, "That stuff only happens in the movies ..."

Not true. Soon, I began imitating the behavior of "Jack." Not so much his exact words, but more so his attitude, his body language, and his overall confident demeanor. Sure enough, I soon started having my own seduction experiences that were very close in nature to Jack's in this movie.

There was almost a "pattern" to it:

1) I would approach a woman...
2) I'd tell her my [sexual] interests in a self-assured, provocatively straightforward manner
3) More often than not, the woman harshly criticizes me for being "too forward," "crass," or something like that
4) Similar to Jack in the movie, I remain cool, calm, and collected in response to her criticisms
5) Eventually, I end up seducing that woman ... either that day, or a few days later.

::cocky smirk & a wink::

Alan, author of "Mode One: Let The Women Know What You're REALLY Thinking"

Honesty
Here's more of "Jack" displaying Radical Honesty... which, btw, is another book I should really check out. By Brad Blanton: http://www.radicalhonesty.com/ This one's a bit more romantic and less vulgar... and then vulgar again! ;P A bit cheezy, but then again, pretty intense. You can just feel the tension.


No one's ever really honest anymore! And that's what sets people like you and me apart from the pack. David X calls "Honesty" your greatest weapon. It's what's between your ears. One of the things he says is how... to be a man, you've gotta be able to look someone in the eyes and tell'em the truth. Another great saying: the more you tell the truth, the less you have to remember. It's much easier to free flow when you're not makin' shit up!

The basis of David X's teachings is Honesty, Trust, and Respect. Mode One and David X are two perspectives of the exact same thing: fuck what anyone else thinks, and be honest to yourself. Or in other words: know what you want, and don't be afraid to go after it. That's what a REAL man does. It's not just about women. It's an attitude for life, your health and well-being. Peace of mind. Come from the heart!

(And/or your crotch! ;P)

Men lack real masculinity. Men are afraid of being men. The Equality Movement has done a lot of great things... but we didn't get it! Instead of "equality," we got "sameness." Men have become more like women. Women have become more like men.

The Seduction Community exists today due to our lack of real role models. Real father figures. Male role models. Men who've grown up with badass fathers and brothers needn't even look at what we have. They're normal and natural.

I've been fortunate to have an awesome brother, and to have associated myself with business leaders, the strongest masculine minds possible, and local doers and go-getters. :) I'm also fortunate to have had a horrible father who obviously loves me but doesn't know how to be a good dad, for without his influence (or lack thereof), I wouldn't know what NOT to do. I'm gonna be the best dad and husband ever. :D


http://www.enlightenedseduction.com/

Be an airhead! Train yourself NOT to think. Just say SOMETHING.


Statements of Intent. "You're sexy."


Answering questions. Facts are bad!


http://www.youtube.com/charismaarts
http://charismaarts.com/
http://www.setbb.com/charisma/

I actually enjoyed this video. Make her smile. Hang out. Go for lunch. Bada bing! :D


http://nielshoven.com/

Victor has been a great contributor to the Direct Method Forum. He doesn't post anymore, but his journal has some great nuggets mixing NLP and Direct.

The Direct Walkup
This is one of the best explanations I've come across that explains how to do the direct approach. It's basically Approach, Vacuum, Qualify. I don't care much for the "I know it's absurd..." part. You can say all that if you want, but it's best that you come up with what works best for you afterwards.

So far, I just approach, enjoy her eyes, and if she hasn't stuck out her hand and introduced herself to me yet, I lead and exchange intros, and then go into talk.


Absorb this and Mode One thoroughly. 17 times if you have to. Just like a commercial that you can't get out of your head. ;)

Inner Game
Victor is also a master of NLP and Inner Game. Here's a great video that accompanies the mentality of the Direct Walkup. Great stuff about interrupting emotional states... a great way to catch yourself when you're thinking too much.


Rapport
Don't go for "cheap" rapport. If you're TRYING to get rapport, you'll won't get it. My take? You don't have to "go for" it. You already have it! If you "try" to "get" this from her, this assumes that you don't already have it, and you'll lose it.

Essentially, we're saying the same things.


Check out more of his stuff!
http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=VictorMalvado
http://www.victor-malvado.com/English.html
http://pickup-consulting.com/
http://www.myspace.com/victormalvado

This is it. This is direct. This is Mode One. The real-life "Jack."
http://www.geocities.com/modeone2k1/M1-Backstory.html?20077

For more about Mode One, please visit Alan Roger Currie's blog.
And buy his book. It's only $15!!!
http://modeone.blogspot.com/
http://www.modeone.net/

Here's his interview with the McClendon Report. (20 minutes)

This is something I had taken down from A&D and the BBC since it was too insightful or revealing. I believe I posted it around Sept. 16th of 2006.

I don't approach anywhere NEAR these numbers anymore. At least not consciously. For example, I met a girl last night (among others) at a music event whom I didn't really notice earlier in the night. Meeting and hanging out with her and her friends more towards the end of the night, I found myself growing fond of her, and I could intuitively read how well she was responding to me. In a situation like that, it's only natural-- even a GIVEN to exchange info and keep in touch.

It was just normal for me to go up to strangers and talk to them, and I didn't really think so much of it as me wanting get anyone's number. Just having a good time without any expectations. Speaking of which... Antonios also helped me realize something yesterday: kisses are just like numbers. They don't mean SHIT!

Anyway, here it is... my approach rate for earlier September. I continued to approach more or less 5 girls a week through the rest of October or so (not including the clumps of girls I'd "run into" at a night function). I don't know exactly what my numbers are these days. I just go out and have a good time not being afraid of people. ;P

-------------------------------------------------------

I just worked the numbers.

Sept. 5th-15th:
101 girls
27 amazing
10 approaches

x36 (for a yearly estimate):
3636 girls
972 amazing
360 approaches

Conclusion (estimates):
10 girls a day (avg. casual/passive plus actively looking)
25% amazing (2-3 a day)
10% approaching girls
35% approaching sexy girls

This does not factor in the fact that I see some of these girls regularly (more than once). It's simply a projection of how many opportunities pop up.

Heck, if I were to be more modest about the numbers and say I had more like 2000 opportunities a year (vs 3636), then that means I've missed about 10,000 opportunities over the past 5 years! WHAT THE FUCK!? :shock: :x :roll:

By "approaches," I don't mean asking for directions, socializing and networking for emails and contacts. I mean any approach that actually went somewhere with purpose and intent (like opening direct, romantic connection, or going for the date and number). Something substantial. Something that really helped me grow. Something that was hard to do. Something I had to defeat excuses for. In other words, REAL approaches that actually mean something to me.

According to the numbers, I'm approaching about 1 girl a day, or 30 approaches a month. I guess that's an okay place to start. I'm also going for a third of the really hot ones I come across. I don't necessarily have to do more than that-- although I definitely COULD approach more. I ought to be approaching around 100 girls a month (3-4 a day, 25 a week, both amazing and simply cute). More importantly, I just need to get better at approaching each girl. The approach numbers don't have to go up, just the quality of the interactions.

1 girl a day is PLENTY. That means definite regular practice.

If I could consistently approach just 1 girl a WEEK and fuck her... well shit. :shock:

What do you want to do?
DO you REALLY want to ___?
Are you afraid to ___?

Let's go see if she's really THAT hot.

Make a decision and stick to it.

This is one of my best buddies' blogs. He and I have been on a very similar path over the past year. He's the DIRECT approach machine to learn from! Read'em an'weep boys.

:D

http://strawberry-letter-23.blogspot.com

This is Spirit Fingers of theApproach and the Sex Revolution Blog with a 10-minute preview of his Sex Revolution Handbook.

Excerpt from a Badboy Lifestyle newsletter:

"When you enter a new club for very first time, the first thing you need to do is take 5 minutes to survey the place. Pay attention to logistics. Get to know your environment well. Know where the most girls are gathered. Know where the music is lowest and you can hear. Know which bar serves drinks the quickest. Know a dark corner where you can isolate a girl for a kiss.

Those 5 minutes will save you a lot of time, and you will know exactly where to go with a girl once you are in a set. You always need to know where to move her to achieve specific things."

So here are, by far, the best resources I've come across:

Forums (Best for Field Report Analysis. The #1 Way to Learn)
http://badboycafe.com
http://direct-method.net/invisionboard
http://www.setbb.com/charisma

Media (Best for Attitude, Behavior, and Tonality)
http://charismaarts.com
http://playersupreme.libsyn.com
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=843449346190665801&q=alan+roger+currie

Blogs (Theory)
http://socialhitchhiker.blogspot.com
http://sexrevolutionblog.com
http://mybirthdaypony.blogspot.com
http://kissntale.wordpress.com

My new system is Direct/VAC. It used to be Direct/JM/SS. Not really a huge change, but I'd rather reduce and simplify my schools of thought. My structure has also slightly evolved from Approach, Move, Escalate to Approach, Logistics, Escalate.

And oh yeah... bartenders are sweet too. ;)

There are some changes that need to be made to my defunct blog here.

Downsizing on links and methods. I'm WAY more direct now. I've learned a ton from the schools of Charisma Arts, theApproach, and Player Supreme. My PU101 influence is still there, I'm just not as high-energy anymore. No need. My behavior has changed DRAMATICALLY. I didn't know jack shit back in September. I think strip club waitresses and dancers are really sweet. Go-go dancers are really sweet. Pretty much, people are a lot more down-to-earth than I would have ever expected. I'm hella more connected to some of the most knowledgeable and experienced guys in the industry.

There really is no point to me having a blog as I post too damn much on the forums already, I already have substantial/extensive journals setup on there, and I oughtta get away from there and the internet altogether. But hey, I started this place. Maybe it'll be of some better use someday soon.